My Angel

I never really understood the verse in the Bible that says that women will be saved through childbearing (1Tim 2:15) until I had a child. Although I'm quite positive that there have been plenty of women who received God's grace and mercy without bearing a child, I am beginning to see how Andrew is going to play an intricate role in my own salvation. Not only does he cause me to repent more (like when I lose my temper), he also makes me want to pray more (especially with him) and be more thankful (especially for him).

I blinked and all of a sudden I am the mother of a toddler. The baby that once innocently played with the angels in church and sat quietly wherever I put him is now an ornery little boy with a stubborn streak he inherited from his dad and a rebellious streak he got from me. Although he can be trying at times, there are still those moments when I look into his eyes and I have to catch my breath. It's like God is speaking to me through those big blue eyes, giving me just a little extra grace and love and showing me how to give it back.

I really believe that God uses Andrew as my little personal angel to send me messages when I need them. For example, the other day I was pretty sad. I had just gotten off the phone with my sister who has just moved to Pennsylvania which is a good 10-hour drive away. I sat on the floor and just started crying. Andrew heard me crying and walked up to me with this inquisitive look on his face. He started shaking me gently and jabbering away as if to say, "There, there, mommy. It will be alright." Realizing he was going to have to do better than that to make me happy, he got real quiet and started touching my face. He then pointed to my tears and triumphantly exclaimed, "Ball! Ball! Ball!" (his favorite word), which made me laugh out loud. He then started laughing and soon we were playing and everything was right in the world. My little angel had once again come to my rescue, reminding me to appreciate what is right in front of me, and helping me smile again.

I sort of wish that verse in 1Timothy ended after it says that women will be saved through childbearing. That would make things pretty easy. But it doesn't. It goes on to say that a woman will be saved through childbearing if she continues in "faith, love and holiness, with self-control." Although the act of childbearing was the worst possible pain I've ever experienced, there's part of me that wishes I could just keep doing that instead of working towards such spiritual greatness. At least they've got epidurals for labor. It looks like I'm going to have to do the rest the hard way.