Monday, April 27, 2009

My Mirror



I am ashamed to say that Andrew has learned a bad word.

And he says it frequently.

At first I thought he was saying shoot, or shirt, or ship...but alas, he was not. The phrase, "Oh man, shirt!" just doesn't make sense, although for a while I tried to convince myself it did. "Is something wrong with your shirt again, Andrew?" I'd ask hopefully, but all I'd receive in reply was a confused stare. So I stopped denying it and started trying to figure out who to blame.

Shirt.

Who was I trying to kid? The fact is I can only blame myself, although I still partially blame Chicago city traffic. What can I say? It's my "naughty word" of choice, and it's come back to bite me.

As I continue to raise my children, I am discovering a nasty little secret that other parents failed to warn me about: our children are tiny little mirrors that reflect in painful detail our own flaws and weaknesses. They learn how to live life by watching how WE live life.

I thought parenting was hard enough when I thought all I had to do was TELL my kids not to swear. But now I have to not swear either? I can't tell Andrew not to throw a tantrum and then lose my own temper a few minutes later. I can't expect him to pray before his meals if I forget to pray myself. I can't teach him to love others and then have him hear me talking bad about people behind their backs. The list could go on....

A very wise person said it best to me: I can preach at my children all I want, but it's what they SEE me do that will influence them the most, not what they hear me say.

Talk about some heavy shirt.

I considered vowing to stop "preaching" at Andrew and just start living as I want him to live, but let's face it: a two-year-old inherently needs a lot of active and meaningful instruction on the do's and don'ts of life. But I will make a concerted effort to put into practice that which I preach. And hopefully my little mirror will reflect more good than bad.

Just as long as I don't drive in heavy traffic.

My Baby

Ella Grace Kincaid, born December 26th at 5:18 in the morning

Things didn't quite go according to plan, but then again, I'm learning that in life, they rarely do.

Thank God Ella's completely healthy now and all is well. Every time I look at my children I am amazed at God's abundant blessings.